Smile | Laugh | Release

Friday, December 31, 2010 | |


I used to laugh. Big, loud, bent over gasping for air kind of laughter. I thought I might be a comedian one day. That thought fizzled.

I was watching TV one night and saw the craziest commercial with a baby in a walker zooming through city streets, through the desert, across the country side. And I laughed out loud. Just laughed because it was so nutty, the baby was making such funny faces and the music the ad producers chose was impeccable. My laughter simmered down and I was left with the feeling that it had been a long time since I had laughed out loud. Why sure, I made the polite, "Ha" noise in response to a friend's story or chuckled mildly when my child did something goofy. But real laughter? No. It had been a while.

Growing up, my family laughed. Not all the time...we weren't demented. But enough to have it color all my childhood memories. I owe that laughter in large part to my mom. She knew how to have fun and how to be silly. One morning, I was the first daughter awake and I crawled into bed with my mom. Even though she had just been awoken, she regaled me with the funniest rendition of the Three Little Pigs, told in jive. To my ears, it was the most hysterical thing I ever heard. It was our special moment, for she never could repeat the story as she first told it to me. Later, there was a crazy tale of Aloe that had to be told in fits and starts, as she was gasping for breath between the laughter.

Dinnertime was special in our house, with the family sitting around the table talking about our day. Yes, we did look like the Cleavers. I loved it. Some dinners were mundane, quick affairs. Others would last an hour or longer, as we would get wound up and start guffawing amongst ourselves. I was an avid watcher of Comedy Central and would often reenact sketches I had heard comedians perform. To this day, if I am to utter, "Hello, Dad" with a slur, we all smile and snicker. I could make people laugh and I loved doing it.

On Christmas Eve, my mom was here with my family. The girls were in bed and my mom, stepson and I were hanging out in the kitchen nibbling sweets. My mom reached for some sugar spiced nuts and remarked, "I just love nuts!" It tickled my funny bone and I laughed. I had tears. I couldn't breathe and I needed the support of the counter to hold me up. I felt light and free and happy. To the core happy.

My mom colored my world as a child. She painted the days in bright colors with a huge brush, splashing laughter about the landscape as a necessary addition, not a chance encounter. And I realize I have not been doing that for my family. I haven't laughed. I smile, in a controlled, reserved sort of way. I even told my four year old why her joke wasn't amusing. Who tells a four year old that? Someone who has lost her sense of humor and her ability to live freely, largely, with abandon.

So this year, I will laugh. I will not simply smile. I will chortle and chuckle and snicker and snort. I will give my children the gift my mother gave to me. And this year will indeed be Happy!



It's a Small World? :: Harker Heights, TX Family Photographer

Sunday, December 26, 2010 | |

I ran by her house a few days ago to drop something off and we chatted for a moment about upcoming Christmas visitors and plans. I knew her husband was home for his two weeks of leave from an overseas deployment. I had followed on Facebook as she fretted over the four day journey her parents made from England to be here in Texas for Christmas. Then I learned her sister and brother in law, whom she had not seen since their wedding THREE YEARS AGO!, were flying in from Australia. Immediately, I asked when she wanted some family pictures taken.

There is no prescribed time to get pictures. You don't have to wait for an occasion, such as a wedding or a birthday. You don't have to wait for perfect weather or the perfect setting. You take pictures when the people you love are with you. Plain and simple. For your opportunity can slip away as quickly as it came. Just get the camera out and take the pictures!








Silent Night, Holy Night

Friday, December 24, 2010 | |

I had a hard time getting into the Christmas Spirit this year. I wasn't feeling festive, I wasn't feeling happy and I wasn't feeling like celebrating Christmas. Having a four year old in the house, though, kind of demanded I do something. I grudgingly pulled out the Advent calendar and Buddy the Elf and called it Christmas. Every few days, my sweet child would ask why we weren't decorating and she decided that two things did not equal Christmas Spirit.

Slowly, my heart softened and I knew we had to have a real Christmas, even though this was our third Christmas in four years without Daddy here to celebrate it with us. My stepson and I snuck away to Wal-Mart to buy a very pretty tree, which we secreted into the house without my daughter noticing. I called her to the living room and immediately she exclaimed, "It's a Christmas Miracle!" And I was hooked.

We strung the lights, hung the ornaments, made the annual Christmas cookies, frosted the cookies, bought and wrapped gifts and decked the halls. Christmas Spirit is alive and well in our house.






I have so much to celebrate: the birth of Christ, His endless mercy and comforting embrace, a husband who is honorable, selfless, devoted and loving, all the comforts any person could hope for and a beautiful, healthy, happy family with which to share it all!

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Christmas Time Spunk :: Harker Heights, TX Children's Photographer

Thursday, December 23, 2010 | |

For all of you scratching your heads, wondering, "But I thought she was done for a while? Can she not stick to her word? Can she not say no? Why is she shooting sessions?!" here is my answer:

Friendship extends beyond business. This little trio's mama EARNED this session through her selfless, no limits, what-more-can-I-do friendship to me. She and I are nearly polar opposites, but I guess the Lord laughs as he pairs friends up, knowing where we are lacking and covering that very need with a hand selected friend. And even more than friendship, I managed to score a beef brisket sandwich and fries out of the deal last night!

My friend, your children are lively and sometimes they leave their listening ears at home, but you cannot deny their zest for life, their vitality and their security in your unending love for them. I hope you can see all of that below!








Beautiful Blond Baby :: Harker Heights, TX Toddler Photographer

Wednesday, December 22, 2010 | |

She has her mama's mouth. Her blue eyes. Her gorgeous skin.

I think she also stole her mother's heart, right along with her daddy's. Big Brother...well, it seems he has a greater ability to withstand her cuteness. I think that will all change in a year or two. Even so, I am pretty sure her love coffers are full to overflowing.






New BFFs :: Harker Heights, TX Toddler Photographer

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 | |

Growing up in the military, I made friends and then moved. Joining the military, I made friends and then moved. Marrying into the military, I made friends and they moved. (For, you see, I haven't moved anywhere since marrying into the military...but that may change this summer!)

It is easy to conclude I have friends sprinkled all over the country. Every now and then, I am lucky enough to have one of these friends pass along my path. Like this past weekend when one of my best high school friends and his wife and children stopped over for lunch, on their way to Austin for a wedding. Honestly, they came from Washington, DC to have lunch with me. The wedding was a happy coincidental timing thing...right?

Anyway, we both now have two little ones. The littlest ones are only a week apart in age. So we stuck them in the grass together to see what would happen. A friendship was born. And the mamas think we have a new ad campaign for Benetton.






iheartfaces week 50, Pets :: Harker Heights, TX Photographer

Tuesday, December 14, 2010 | |

Mr. Seamus is masterful at the Art of Lovely Repose. Of course, this moment only came after he had groomed himself for some time, in a vain effort to smooth his coat, which was ruffled by the 13 month old who is fascinated with him. He does not get as much free time as he may wish, but he certainly gets more than his fair share of hugs, kisses and well-cat visits from my budding veterinarian.

If you have a pet or a picture of any animal, this is your week over at I Heart Faces! Click the button below to join the fun!


I Heart Faces - Photo Challenges, Tutorials and Tips

12.11.10...High School :: Harker Heights, TX Senior Photographer

Sunday, December 12, 2010 | |

Yesterday's date was 12/11/10. Senior year. Junior Year. Sophomore year. High School, in numeric form. The perfect day to have a Senior Session. And trust me, I enjoyed the perfect girl to photograph. Beautiful in face, gentle in spirit, quick to smile and laugh. She knows where she is headed after graduation, thinks she knows what she wants to be, but is wise enough to allow herself the latitude to change her mind.

I can only imagine how her parents will feel as they see these pictures of their girl who is no longer little. A young woman coming into her own, confidently stepping forth into the world, relying upon the lessons taught over the last 18 years as she looks forward to what lies ahead. I may not know exactly how they feel, but I do know they will see a gorgeous girl they are so proud to call their daughter.








GO NAVY!

Saturday, December 11, 2010 | |


For all my misguided Army friends:

GO NAVY! BEAT ARMY!



iheartfaces week 49, Self Portrait :: Harker Heights, TX Photographer

Monday, December 06, 2010 | |

Shadow and light. That's a bit of how I feel right now. I have days of brightness, happiness, ease in every task. Then I have days of darkness, sadness, trials at every turn. I cannot explain it. I look at my life and find no faults, no reasons. I am blessed with an amazing family, a loving, devoted husband, a beautiful home, every need met. But somehow I am not able to enjoy it fully. I believe I will one day, and so I focus on the bright spots. I cling to them. I know there are more of them for me ahead. I just have to get there.

(So, did you really want a window into my soul when all I was really doing was entering this weeks I Heart Faces challenge?! There is something about taking a picture of myself and presenting me to everyone that causes introspection. I could have shown a happy, smiling Julie, but this is more true to where I am at this moment. And we are not all perfect all the time. I am coming to accept that.)


And for you technical photographers out there, I challenged myself to get a self portrait with a very shallow depth of field. So this was taken with my 50mm at f/2.2. I managed to get my eye in focus. Amazing!

Click the button below and be inspired to share yourself with the rest of us!

I Heart Faces - Photo Challenges, Tutorials and Tips


68 Degrees = Perfection :: Harker Heights, TX Family Photographer

Saturday, December 04, 2010 | |

While in college in the northeast, my girlfriends and I passed an hour one winter debating the perfect temperature. I settled on 68 degrees. Cool enough that jeans are needed but you can waffle between short sleeves and long sleeves. You don't sweat. You don't freeze. You don't even THINK about the temperature. 68 degrees is perfection.

Tonight's session occurred at 68 degrees. And it was perfection. An absolutely beautiful late fall evening, a charming family with two stunning girls, and a lovely stroll along a new street, trying out some new spots. As we moved from this location to that, switching from one arrangement to another, I loved watching how both girls so easily and happily nestled into their parents arms. There was a quiet assurance of love given and returned and it was beautiful to share in it this evening.

May you, too, see how lovely your love is!








Grey Geese

Wednesday, December 01, 2010 | |

A finished bowl of oatmeal rests in my lap. The sticky remnants harden as I sit, immobile, on the sofa. A commercial flickers on the tv, the elegant holiday jazz music catching my ear. Sophisticated people commune in sophisticated black and white as they drink sophisticated vodka. And the grey geese seem to only honk louder in my head. The clouds thicken, my mood somber, my chin almost quivers over a vodka commercial. What is this?


It is my life with a shallow depth of field. I presently have the inability to see clearly, with focus, more than a few minutes from now. For all the introspection, I am not sure why I feel this so strongly right now.

And I don't know why I am blogging about it.

My family reads my blog. And a few other people I don't really know. And some friends, real life friends, I do know. And this is nothing I would say face to face to them. Perhaps it is the anonymity of blogging that allows this crazy train of thought. Perhaps I simply don't have the strength to put on my happy face today.

I recently decided to put my business on hold and I was left wondering what to do with my blog. Up until now, I have used it to promote my business, my Julie Rivera Photography persona, the photographer who is likable and kind. Even fun on occasion. And perhaps that person is really me, some days. But other days, ones like today, I am not that person. I am withdrawn. Unmotivated. Uninspired. Flat.

Flat. That's a good word for me. As I watch the cursor blink, I wonder if I will post this blog. I am not sure people need to have this view of me. I am not sure I want to read the comments that might be left.

Or...worse yet...see no comments were left at all.

The sophisticated people still swirl about, oblivious to my reaction to their revery. The grey geese block my view and darken the sky. And the clouds roll in.